It's been almost 2 weeks since I have written a blog post. I can't blame any one thing, really...I just haven't blogged at all. I have ideas, drafts sitting in Blogger...
Maybe it's because of the presidential election and the racial tension that has finally erupted in my beloved home state- when this much is going on, anything I put here would be either inadequate or just ignoring these major life developments.
Sometimes all I can do is ignore it. That's terrible. It's not fixing the problem. But I don't know what to do. My heart bleeds for so many, for the ridiculous terrible state of our nation. And I can only bleed so much and stay whole. So sometimes I have to be in my personal, day-to-day bubble.
Maybe it's because there has been some schedule changes in my household and it's been hard to carve out time for myself.
Maybe it's because we were actually somewhat social lately so I've been living outside the internet (I know, shocking).
Maybe it's pure laziness. Who knows.
Anyway. I will try to do more stuff around here soon. Hope things are going well and the news isn't making you loose your mind too much.
Struggling to Stay in My Lane
Thursday, September 15, 2016
I have written before about how my biggest struggle is insecurity. Insecurity about my worth as a person and contribution to the world, insecurity about my intelligence once I didn't get into grad school, insecurity about what I am putting into this space since I don't get as much interaction as I wish for, insecurity about my faith (not that I lack faith in Christ, but that I lack faith in myself to truly live out that belief).
Basically, I deal with a LOT of insecurity. It's less than it was- or, more likely, I have just somewhat learned to deal with it. And by deal with it, I mean I tell that sucky little voice in my head to STFU and barrel through life doing what I have to do.
This has worked for a while, and still does to an extent.
But every now and then...I desperately want some external validation.
I'm not sure if it's being a new mom, or if it's approaching 30 and not being quite where I thought I would be in life. Maybe it's the fact that some of my co-workers act like I am a terrible person because...our department has a budget and regulations that I don't even set.
Anyway.
I just know it's been harder to tell that little voice to fuck off lately.
I am taking little comments personally and having conversations in my head where basically everyone is fighting me and letting it color my actual relationships even though it's just my imagination.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this. But the good thing is, even amidst this doubt I am seeing confirmation. I am seeing confirmation that I am helpful in some situations, confirmation that I am following His plan even if it's by taking baby steps. Maybe one day I will shut that little voice off once and for all. Until then...I cling to the knowledge that it is a liar.
Basically, I deal with a LOT of insecurity. It's less than it was- or, more likely, I have just somewhat learned to deal with it. And by deal with it, I mean I tell that sucky little voice in my head to STFU and barrel through life doing what I have to do.
This has worked for a while, and still does to an extent.
But every now and then...I desperately want some external validation.
I'm not sure if it's being a new mom, or if it's approaching 30 and not being quite where I thought I would be in life. Maybe it's the fact that some of my co-workers act like I am a terrible person because...our department has a budget and regulations that I don't even set.
Anyway.
I just know it's been harder to tell that little voice to fuck off lately.
I am taking little comments personally and having conversations in my head where basically everyone is fighting me and letting it color my actual relationships even though it's just my imagination.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this. But the good thing is, even amidst this doubt I am seeing confirmation. I am seeing confirmation that I am helpful in some situations, confirmation that I am following His plan even if it's by taking baby steps. Maybe one day I will shut that little voice off once and for all. Until then...I cling to the knowledge that it is a liar.
Show Us Your Books: September 2016
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
This month has been pretty good, reading wise. I've enjoyed almost everything I've read...so let's just get straight to it.
I really enjoyed this, I have been experiencing major Dr Who withdrawl since they took it off Netflix :( There were a few editing errors in the beginning that worried me, but it was fine the rest of the book. This is actually two stories and while different, I feel like they both captured the spirit of the characters. I LOVE the Ponds and their relationship with 11, so this was right up my alley. Also...how freakin' gorgeous is this cover? It's the TARDIS!!!
Hubs & I enjoy the show Castle, although we have not watched it consistently. The book was...good. I think it was better because I could see the TV characters and that actually made it more likeable (similar to the Dr Who book)- I don't know if I would have liked it as much without already having affection for the characters and a feel for the world.
Y'all, this book was such a fun read! Seriously. That makes it sound cheesy and fluffy, which it wasn't. It was written very conversationally, like you were talking to a close friend. Some of the women I had heard of, and some I hadn't. I appreciate that she acknowledged the women's flaws and acknowledged that they weren't always great people just because they made a great difference. I highly recommend this one.
OMG. Y'all. Jana & Steph (who host this link-up and the podcast The Armchair Librarians) have been talking about this book for a while. And...it totally lived up to the hype. Joe is...sick. But there were also times when I totally went "Yep I know a guy who would think like that." I think that is what makes it so creepy- the fact that Joe sometimes seems like just a slightly creepy/sexist guy, then an almost good loving boyfriend, and then a complete fuckin' psycho. And back again...I'm waiting on the second book from the library (not holding my breath, because You was 3 weeks overdue when I finally got it and Hidden Bodies is also...now overdue).
This book was a random choice from the used bookstore, I thought it would be a good summer read. And it was a fine, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. It was the type of book that doesn't have a specific climax or purpose...and sometimes that's pleasant. Other times you just sort of wonder why the author felt this was the story worth writing.
What have you been reading lately? Link-up & let us know!
Monthly Recommendations: Science Fiction
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Time for Monthly Recommendations with Kayla from Kayla Rayne and Trina from Between Chapters (find out more here).
This month's topic is science-fiction. I'll be totally honest, I'm not a huge sci-fi person. For years I have said, in fact, that I read "anything but sci-fi." I'm not sure entirely why this is...ultimately I truly do love books that focus on people in the here and now- family sagas and romantic relationships and friendships that are tested. I'm all about the people, and at least when I was younger it was difficult for me to get past the world-building in some sci-fi/fantasy to the people.
I'm not saying this was the fault of the books or the genre, but me as a reader at that time. I am slowly becoming more open to the genre, but basically I've only read the super popular stories everyone has mostly heard of. I'm excited to hear any recommendations you may have to help further introduce me to this genre!
So here's my short list, which I totally got from this huge list on Goodreads of sci-fi books:
- Brave New World
- I need to reread this, but I remember liking it in high school (and being the only one...)
- The Hunger Games
- Divergent
- Journey to the Center of the Earth
- I read this because it's sort of the grandfather of sci-fi, actually (well, listened, it was an audio book). It was okay, I wonder if it would have been better in traditional book v e-book...but then I may have been caught up with trying to pronounce the crazy Norwegian words. Fun fact: my husband highly enjoyed it. With maybe 2 exceptions, we have completely different tastes in books.
My one actual personal/lesser known recommendation would be the Bishop/Special Crimes Unit series from Kay Hooper.
This may fall more under paranormal, I don't know, sci-fi/paranormal/fantasy seem to intertwine a lot in my head. Either way, it's a great series. I've only read a few, and one was actually the spin-off series Bishop Files.
It's a little hard to explain, but basically it's a loose series that deals with psychics and crime-solving. Each psychic has a different type of sense- one just feels a "pull" towards dead bodies, one can read thoughts, one can see ghosts. Noah Bishop is kind of the head character, since the series are named after him. He works within the FBI but also ends up creating a private enterprise to help find and train people with such gifts. You can definitely read these books as stand-alone's (I have, and out of order) but I really want to go back and read them in order.
They often try to use science to enhance and/or block the psychic abilities, since they are working against people with the same powers (usually serial killers). It's really interesting to see the different versions of abilities the characters have and how they each feel about their abilities. It has a lot of personal details and fleshed-out characters, which is always what captures me and what I sometimes miss in sci-fi just because I get caught up in the world more than the people.
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