I've been listening to the Girl's Girl podcast for a few weeks now (found through the Add It To My List Link-Up). The title comes from the idea that women need to build each other up- a rising tide raises all boats, right?
A bunch of other things (including the show 13 Reasons Why from Netflix) got me thinking about this idea- what exactly does it mean to be a girl's girl?
Growing up, I was not a girl's girl...or a girly girl, which seemed to be the same thing.
I mean, until about 5-6 I was into frilly dresses and stuff. But then I went through a bit of a tomboy phase. I don't find that title offensive...although I think you're not supposed to use it today. Who knows. By my teenage years, I was just plain awkward.
Most of the girls I was friends with ended up moving away...I just never really found a clique. Or even one good friend where we committed to maintaining the friendship.
So truthfully...I don't know how to be that great of a friend. And I don't know how to be a girl's girl, it seems.
But the really sad part is, most of the women I know don't seem to be one either.
I know so many women who accept the worst of gender stereotypes about themselves. They accept the guilt, the gossiping tendencies, the cat-fighting...
Maybe because of this, no one seems to want to be my friend, either. At least not as much as they want to be other things- mothers, wives, daughters, sisters...I'm not saying these things aren't important. They are vital. But I don't understand why friendship isn't a priority to the women I know.
I don't want to do this...I want to learn to be a good friend. I want to set a positive example for my daughter, and I want her to grow up with a supportive tribe.
So how do you be a Girl's Girl when the girls you are around don't seem to care?
I know in my own life, I wish people tried harder. So I want to just keep swimming and supporting.
I want to believe that I am making a positive little difference for others even when they don't show it.
But I wish I knew how to do more than retweet and buy fem-positive clothes.
I wish I knew how to truly get the women in my life to love and support each other.
How are you a Girl's Girl?
I love this. I can 100% relate to how you are feeling here. Aside from the fact that I WAS a girly girl, and still am, etc. I have always found it hard to be and stay friends with other women. My high school girlfriends turned on me when I started dating my (now husband). I wasn't SUPER close with my sister. I'm not too close with my mom. And I've only got a handful of girlfriends now. But I don't see many of them very often. I often find myself wanting more from them and even some of my guy friends, but I don't seem to get it. My husband has this issue also. So I tell you what... I'm not really sure how to do it! I make an effort to be there for friends who need me, even when they are getting on my nerves, or always complaining, etc. I make an effort to text/send snail mail to friends occasionally to see how they are doing. Though I admit, I haven't been great at this. I try to support ladies I know who have their own businesses. Sometimes they are not close friends, but I still like to do it. I try to tell people exactly what I need from them to be a friend. It sometimes works. My sister and I have become a lot closer over the years, and I am grateful that we now have a totally honest and therefore close relationship. Still working on all of the other things. I'd love to hear more about this conversation! XO - Alexandra
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