Whatever that meant. Some of it was good- I enjoyed the works of Jane Austen, once I got used to the language. I read books for my diversity reading challenge that were fantastic works of art and stories of people that are too often ignored.
But I did not enjoy A Farewell to Arms or Wuthering Heights, and Journey to the Center of the Earth along with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy have officially confirmed that sci-fi is just not my thing.
All this was my choice, but it lead to reading not necessarily being the great pleasure of my life that it once was.
For a while I wondered if it was that chapter of my life, or if I had fundamentally changed. I just wasn't gobbling up books the way I used to.
In a way, it was good that I was trying to stretch my horizons. But...I'm not a scholar. It's not going to make a difference in my life if I read Proust or not.
Lately I have read a few books that I enjoyed immensely, and quickly. It made me feel...youthful.
In high school I would devour books.
I enjoyed everything- even things that probably weren't the most literary or diverse. But they were pleasurable. They passed my time well.
I think part of it has to do with having a baby, but it started way before that.
The biggest thing to blame? Probably my smart phone.
It's easier to carry around and can function in so many different ways. But lately I've been trying to put the friggin' phone down (for many reasons). And I've started reading again instead.
It's somehow much better to read at night before bed- regardless of what I'm reading. Books about heavy topics are still preferable to the internet when it comes to keeping myself mentally stable.
Not only that, I'm reading things I enjoy. Now, I've been reading things I wanted to read in theory...but I forced myself to keep going even if I didn't enjoy it once I actually started reading it.
There's something to be said for reading for pure, mindless joy.
I want to read books that are out of my comfort zone and make me think critically. And other times I want to read fluff. All these things are okay.
Balance. I'm learning over and over and over how important balance and variety are to my sanity.
Maybe some of you are more mature or self-aware and know this already. But I've let myself think too many parts of life have to be all or nothing, or that seasons are sometimes permanent.
I'm grateful that I'm learning to accept the seasons for what they are and go with the flow.
Sometimes I will read a book because everyone says it is a must read or I feel like I should...and I rarely enjoy those books. So, I totally get what you are saying! Glad you are finding some balance.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand this. I finally accepted that I like YA books. I don't need to feel shame because of that. Once I realized I was forcing myself to read for the sake of reading, I started enjoying it MUCHHH more.
ReplyDeleteAmen. I've stopped reading books because I think I "should," and started just reading what I want to read! Do you have the app Overdrive? You plug in your library card info and then you can download thousands of ebooks and audiobooks. I've been loving it! So convenient on the go. Those times when I used to pick up my phone and scroll through instagram or facebook mindlessly are now times I pick up my phone and open the app and read a little!
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with reading anything you feel like you should read. I only agree with reading what you want. It's much more enjoyable as an adult to operate like that - we're not required to give reports or write papers or expound on literature's contribution to the world. But we are in need of a way to get lost, to stretch our minds, to zone out...and reading for pleasure is the key to those things.
ReplyDeleteYes! There is nothing wrong with reading a book just because it's fun. I've been able to find a lot which are both enjoyable as well as push me out of my comfort zone. But, it's okay if you read a book JUST because it's fun.
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