Doing Things the "Right" Way

My life trajectory has been fairly traditional. I graduated high school, got engaged to my high school sweetheart, started college, got married, and have a baby. With the exception of getting married at 18, then waiting 5+ years to have kids, none of this is terribly exciting or special.

During the time we were married but without kids, my husband finished his military service/started school/got a full time job. I finished college and got a full time job also.

There are tons of people who do things differently these days. 

Have babies before marriage, or before school, or go through multiple serious relationships. I'm not saying any of these things are wrong, okay?

But so many times over the years, people have told me how great it is that I'm doing things the "right" way.

There are of course people who hate the idea of my life- and that's okay. The interesting thing to me is that it isn't people who have lived similar lives who've told me how smart my choices have been- it's people who have done things totally differently.

I hear it from teen moms, or people who had babies before marriage, or people who put their education on hold. I hear it from people who've lost track of their first loves simply for the sake of playing the field.

There are many paths of life, and different people will enjoy different ones. I can only speak to my personal experience and what I have been told.

Some people look at my life and think it must be super boring. Again, that's okay.

But I would just like to say- my life is awesome. 

Seriously, it really is.

I have a husband that I love with all my heart, who also happens always make me laugh and holds me when I wake up after nightmares and is great in bed.

I have a super cute kid that I chose to have, who I don't resent even a little bit (I mean, it's somewhat annoying when she wants to get up at 1 am but it's not resentment).

Yes I have a boring 9-5 job, but it keeps me away from people and in a building dealing with old papers and puzzles which I actually like, plus I have good benefits and my supervisors seem to really like/appreciate me. I can come home with almost no stress and spend time with my family and friends (and books). I call that a win!

Look, I'm not telling you to live your life my way. 

I just want to point out that in this super cool, free fall age of following your heart and being super creative and running wild and free forever...it's okay to be a little boring.

I think women especially have had this idea presented that now we all need to be Carrie Bradshaw (even though, let's admit, that woman was a friggin' mess 90% of the time). We have this idea that there must be some big grand adventure all the time and we are somehow not taking advantage of the freedoms we finally have if we live a quiet life.*

*not saying women have all the freedoms of men, but we have more than most women throughout history


 It's okay to actually be realistic, or to not have a creative focus, or to have a family. 

If you are happy, then be happy. Someone is always going to judge you. And while you shouldn't do things the "right" way just for the sake of doing what others want, you also shouldn't avoid things just to be wild and cool. In the words of Ron Swanson:

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.