2018 Word of the Year: Pause

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash; edited via Canva

It took me a while to land on my word of the year for 2018. I wanted something that referred to living simply and finding joy in small things...kind of like a cross between minimalist and hygge. I really just wanted to focus on the things I actually care about, instead of all the things the world is shouting. I need peace and focus.

This applies to all aspects of my life- being more financially responsible, being a more patient mother, being a non-asshole person in a world flooded with social media and a reason to always be mad no matter what your beliefs are. 

So my word of the year finally came to me- pause. When I googled, I immediately recognized and related to the two separate but correlating definitions:

•  to stop temporarily
• to linger for a time

These are both necessary for me.

I have to stop reacting immediately. I have to stop assuming that the bad I see is all there is. I have to stop putting people, even seemingly bad ones, into one dimension. I have to stop reacting with frustration to my child who is literally new at everything in life. I have to stop thinking that the people around me think like I do. I have to stop and question- am I living out the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control)? Am I adding to the good in the world, or the bad?

I also have to learn to linger. My life has felt like it's go-go-go since having a baby. It's always something, there's always someone. While it's the opposite of the intention, even "self-care" has become another to-do task on the checklist; how can I maximize this 10 minutes of Me Time? Do I sleep or paint my toenails or eat a cookie or call my congressman or read a book?

I have values, guys. 

Good, important values that come from my religion but also extend to the world at large. I have spent much time in deep personal reflection and prayer and research to choose these values. I need to linger on those. And it's hard, but it's what I want my life to be.

When looking up definitions and quotes, I came across this one:

Human freedom involes our capacity to pause, to choose the one response to which we wish to throw our weight.
-Rollo May

That is exactly what I want to do this year. I want to focus on myself, and truly think about where I am throwing my mental and emotional weight.

This is not to say I won't call or write my representatives, but maybe it means sharing a resource like 5calls.org or Resistbot or the Contact Elected Officials or NPR's Up First podcast rather than simply retweeting a click-bait headline.

It's not to say I won't buy new things, but I can commit to the Thirty Wears attitude or shop at thrift stores more.

It means that when I say I'm a Christian, I have read the Bible and prayed enough to be secure that my life choices reflect that sacred title (because as a believer, yes it is sacred to be called that).

Here's to 2018. 

Here's to pausing, to stopping momentarily, to lingering for a time.

Celebrating a Christian Christmas

 

Every year, there seems to be a lot of talk about Christmas is getting more and more commercialized. 

I think everyone hears this at least a little, but it's definitely talked about within the Christian community.

The hard part is...sometimes I'm not sure exactly what it is people are mad about. A cashier saying "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas?" What the cup they drink their 5$ coffee cup out of looks like?

I just have trouble going "Yep, you're right, that's what my Christmas is all about!"

Supposedly it's all about keeping Christ in Christmas. Which, as a Christian, I am ALL FOR. But...I just don't think it comes down to yelling at a cashier.

And these same people are also the ones who would be SUPER upset if I give my kid gifts from me and my husband instead of Santa...but that's another whole conversation.


I'm not personally upset about other people celebrating a holiday differently than I do, or not celebrating at all. Actually, I'm kind of grateful.

Because it's making me really stop and think about what it means to celebrate Christmas as a Christian. Shouldn't it be about more than a flippant saying as I leave a store, where I just spent hundreds of dollars? How is showering my child with dozens of presents from a fat guy with a beard teaching her about the Savior of the World?

What exactly is it that will make Christmas a Christian holiday in my home?


Here are some ideas I have come up with so far:

• The Giving Manger
•  The link takes you to an "official" kit, which is gorgeous and I kind of really want. But, I also read about someone who just made their own. All you need is a basket, a baby doll, and "straw." Each day in December, you perform an act of service for someone. It can be big or small, but it's about teaching kids (and reminding adults) to be like Christ by serving the people around us. 
• Donating Toys & Clothes
• I remember my mom talking about going through my old toys and clothes around November for donations. It's partly self-serving, because it basically just makes room for new things that will show up soon. But it also teaches how to not be hoarder and generosity and other good stuff. Nowadays there are probably more regulations and lots of shelters, etc want new items- which I totally understand! But even if it means buying new things for others, I really want to make a point of helping others. Which leads into...
• Operation Christmas Child
•  We've done this every year for the past 2-3 years. You fill up a cardboard box or other similar sized container with gifts for children and they are distributed (along with Christian pamphlets) by Christian missionaries.
• Singing Happy Birthday & Birthday Cake on Christmas Day 
• Yes, this one is kind of silly. But it's the holidays! I always had to say "Happy Birthday Jesus!" before opening any presents from Santa. I'd like to kick that up a notch and do a cake and sing and the whole nine yards. Plus, birthday cake is Tank's favorite. And there are lots of "birthday cake" options- cookies/fudge/dip/etc. Just a little something to tie a traditional birthday celebration into Christmas.
• Three Gifts from Santa
•  I was always told that we exchange gifts at Christmas to represent the gifts that the Wise Men brought Jesus. And while I have really fond memories of lots of toys around the tree...I really, really don't want to turn into one of those people who goes crazy with presents. I can already tell it's going to be suuuuuper hard. But hopefully this rule would help keep that in check and also further cement Christ's birth as the center of our Christmas celebrations. We will give additional presents as parents (maybe the four categories) and obviously the grandparents and other family members won't have a limit or anything (because they wouldn't listen if we tried).

Tank & I haven't officially decided on all of these (or even discussed, actually, some of this is just me thinking out loud); Babycakes is still small- not even two. We have some time to figure it out...but I'm actually really grateful for this "war on Christmas" theory that has forced me to examine my beliefs.

I am grateful to have a close group of Christian friends to talk about this with thoughtfully and non-judgmentally. I'm grateful that despite the culture I'm in, good or bad, Jesus is constant. 

Oh, and we also will do some standard not-specifically Christian Christmas things. We go look at lights, either by ourselves or with a city tour, we watch Christmas movies like The Grinch, etc.

And since we are often out of town visiting family I started a tradition of making orange rolls on Christmas morning. I can do this wherever we are, and it can be enjoyed by everyone, at any age, for many years. Traditions that are reliant on a specific location or time or schedule just aren't logical for our family.

If you celebrate a Christian Christmas, what Christ-focused traditions do you enjoy? 

Photo by Gareth Harper on Unsplash, edited with Canva

Christmas Gifts that Keep Giving

While lots of people celebrate the winter holidays differently, almost everyone gives presents. Everyone. You might purchase them for a different reason or wrap them in different colors or give them weeks apart- but you probably give and receive gifts at some point in the November/December months.

I want to encourage you to think of long lasting gifts this year. 

The gift of experience and time can be so much more rewarding than just things.

Yes, it's possible to give fantastic random physical gifts that people love. But it's a lot of pressure for a statistically low pay-off. Especially now as a mom...I don't necessarily need more STUFF to keep in my home with my kid. I need an excuse and activity to stop the madness and boredom and routine from being in the same four walls ALL THE TIME. So please, this year consider giving something that will last a little longer and encourage more bonding. They may cost a little more, but not compared to buying 3+ smaller gifts.

Here's a few ideas I know my family and I would use and deeply appreciate:
 

• Zoo/aquarium passes
• Amusement park passes
• Xbox live/gold/whatever subscription
• Netflix/hulu subscription
• Audible subscription
• Subscription Boxes
• Cleaning service 
• This one may be controversial, but I know SO MANY PEOPLE who say a one-time big cleaning day from a service was a GAME CHANGER. For 100$ or less (I was shocked and thought it would have been way more, honestly) you can give the gift of time and less stress and a clean and happy home. Maybe ask ahead of time, but just say "Hey, I know day-to-day life and upkeep can be stressful. Would it be helpful to have XYZ service? Not that you can't do it yourself, clearly, you're awesome! But this is one of those things I personally could/have used and it was super nice to just not have that thing to juggle." 

What are your favorite experience/long-lasting gifts you've given/received?